Gloria Kobe
Breast Cancer, one year survivor

     For about 18 months before I was diagnosed, I felt very depressed, drained of energy.  I was 34, divorced and have one son.  When I told my best friend about it, I even joked by saying how it felt like I was having cancer or something.  Dreadfully, it came true.

     I found a lump in my breast the week before my yearly physical, and when I mentioned it to the doctor, he reassured me that it was probably just a clogged mammary gland, and told me several nutritional guidelines to follow.  After several weeks, I noticed that the lump had increased in size.

     I went to see a surgeon to schedule the biopsy.  He sent me for a mammogram, and like the sonogram, the report stated "probably benign."  My biopsy was on June 4th.  As soon as I woke up, I saw the surgeon standing there.  I asked him, "Is everything okay?"  And he said, "No, it's not.  You have cancer."  I felt like I was in a tunnel - everything was closing in on me.  This couldn't be happening!  I felt like my future had been taken away from me in that moment.

     The next day, the doctor was telling me about all the different treatment options.  Chemotherapy, radiation therapy...all this unfamiliar terms made me sick.  The doctor suggested that I went with chemotherapy, and so I agreed because I was so scared and didn't want to think for myself.

     I wore a fanny pack with my chemo in it home from the hospital.  I would wear this for 3 days, disconnect it myself, and then feel horrible for 10 days.  I still had to take care of my son during this time.  My 7-year-old son Tim,  was sensitive about my baldness.  I wished I had gone out and bought a wig or something.

     I have to admit at the beginning, I was most worried about  what I would look like without my hair.  It started falling out exactly two weeks after my first treatment.  I twisted it up and sprayed it really well and left it like that for two days.  Throughout the whole ordeal, I've actually had many positive comments about my baldness, especially from men.  I felt better about myself.

     Throughout it all, my family, friends, and the hospital where I work have been supportive.  Now, I feel better than I have in years.  I have a more positive outlook on life, and I can begin thinking about the future again.  This has been the most horrible experience I've ever had to face, and I know it's limited me in some ways.  I don't know if I'll have any more kids.  But I have survived the cancer and  chemotherapy, and I feel better than ever!